Would an Ubi be with someone Asexual?

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LucyHeartfilia6
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This has been on my mind for a while and I debated posting it because 1. I thought it was a stupid question and 2. I already posted on this forum recently but I have to ask. Would Succubi/Incubi purposely pair with someone who’s asexual? I am asking because I am asexual and I have an unbound incubi who’s hypersexual and for a while I haven’t been feeling good about my asexuality, so I have episodes where it makes me really sad and self-degrading. I don’t understand why he’s still here though so to speak. I’ve told him about my asexuality and everything. I’ve also let him do you-know-what not because I want it, but only because I know he needs it. What do you guys think?


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Well, first off, how do you know it's an incubus?
Unbounds can be anything and just claiming to be incubi to get it on.

Also even if he's an incubus he should respect your sexuality. So tell him to get lost. He has survived this long so he can go and feed on others without you letting him do things. You don't have to do that, just tell him go search for someone else.


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LucyHeartfilia6
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I can’t tell you for sure that he’s an incubus but I feel intuitively that he could be one and through some research I’ve done on beings who I’ve compared to see which one he most closely resembles and I’ve come to the conclusion of an incubus. Now that you’re saying it though he probably might not be. I’m already getting some preparations ready for cutting off communication with him, but I was curious to know if this was something that they do knowingly or care about. You know, the “good” Ubi’s. Not the ones like this “incubus”


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I am curious, what is the motivation for getting an incubus?


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Well, before you rush to ward him off...

Have you tried communicating with him? By that I mean, actually trying to have a two-way conversation? The only thing I see in your posts is, you've told him about your preference, and you've let him have at you to appease him. But have you actually asked him why, and then respectfully heard him out?

Because, here's the thing: he may not be sure you've noticed him. If you're not actively talking to him, and listening for his responses, he might actually think you haven't even noticed him, and paradoxically, he may still be trying to get your attention for, as far as he knows, the first time.

Incubi typically don't hang around people that they aren't passionate about for some reason. And if they're serious, they will want more give and take than just sex. So, definitely try to respectfully engage him, if you haven't done so.

I have an incubus in my keep, who fairly recently gave me three questions to ask an unfamiliar incubus. Ask him the following questions, in an environment that's mutually comfortable for both of you.

What that means is, don't let him insist on only talking to you in bed and undressed, but for your part, don't try to ask him these questions right in front of your friendly neighborhood exorcist. Ask him on neutral ground, where you'll both feel comfortable talking.

1. What do you see in me, that you're so passionate about? Do not accept an evasive answer for this, and do not accept anything sexual.

He should be able to respond right away, and with something that's more meaningful than just the boudoir boogie-woogie. If he can explain what he sees in you, and it's something that's not sexual in nature, then he's serious; hear him out, and decide whether you want to have him around. If he's evasive, or says he only wants rolls in the proverbial hay, then either he can't be honest with you, or he only views you as a hookup. If that's the case, proceed with extreme caution.

2. Other than sex, what do you want from me? Do not accept "Nothing" for an answer.

This dovetails a bit with the previous question. If you're more to an incubus than just a sex partner (which you really should be), then he'll understand that you have your limitations. So, what happens during those times when you can't engage like that? There's likely to be something else, that's non-sexual, and that's probably something he can't do alone, that he hopes you can do. Whatever that is, it shouldn't be a burden or an imposition.

3. Other than sex, what are you offering me in return? Again, "Nothing" is not an acceptable answer.

If he's serious, he'll know that asking for your companionship is a very, very big ask for an incubus. He will already understand that sexuality is a very delicate subject for humans in general, so it's anticipated that he's going to have to offer you something practical, in order to make it worth your time.

If he's serious, then he'll answer those questions honestly, and he'll know you'll need time to think it through. But definitely try communicating with him, give and take, on neutral ground, before you jump straight to warding him off.


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Just posting to say that I agree with Johnny Seraph. I used his three questions approach with my incubus, and my incubus gave me some pretty good answers. What it basically boiled down to is the incubus enjoys my company. Now, mind you, I think incubuses can be dangerous and if you feel you should banish yours, I wouldn't advise you not to. But I've decided to keep mine.

The other thing I would say is, house rules. If you don't already have them, house rules the heck out of that... house. I set up house rules for my spirits shortly after joining the CH forum and they have made things a lot more pleasant. Establish what kinds of contact you are and are not willing to put up with from your incubus, and if he disrespects you, there should be consequences. Up to and including banishment.

Really, though, I feel like it should be up to you as to whether or not you want to continue in your relationship. Taking it slow in the beginning is a good idea. And yes, it is possible that your incubus has other things to bring to the table besides just you-know-what.


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I know people can be super sensitive on this topic so I'm going to preface with 'unpopular opinion maybe': there's also the fact that a percentage of those who believe they are asexual actually just haven't discovered or properly explored their sexuality yet --for various reasons this can be the case. Some are put off of it by certain traumatic events which is understandable (but should eventually be looked at so a healing process can occur), some just never had an interaction that did anything for them, some haven't been stimulated properly, some are far too focused on other areas of their life to care or invest anything in sex and have a generally lower libido. All of those things can make one believe they are not sexual, but I would contest that everyone has some sort of sexual nature. It doesn't mean you have to act on it or be sexual, it's your life.

However, you are a product of sex, everyone is, and there is a realm of self-power that ought to be explored within that element for one's spiritual and overall life-growth. And this is not to imply it even has to do with sexual activity. Sex appeal and sexual awareness applies to many areas which have nothing whatsoever to do with 'getting it on' or orgasms or whatever. The Kundalini for instance relates itself to sexual essence. The root and sacral chakras as they relate to love, creativity, understanding feminine and masculine power, having one's fundamental needs in life realized and connecting to the sacred are all under the 'sexual energy' umbrella. A chiefly sexual entity such as an incubus could come to someone and work with them on these things rather than have an out and out 'sexual relationship' with you.

But if you're very opposed to all of that, then there is no reason to connect with this being. Yes ubi can have many personality traits and features and interests, they aren't one-dimensional, but they ARE SEXUAL and they WILL BRING this to your life. Anybody that tells you otherwise doesn't really understand what they are talking about.
So right now you're being confronted with an interesting decision --of if you're open to exploring sexual energy and how it connects with you personally, even while deeming yourself asexual, or if you don't want that whatsoever.
I don't see any signs based on what you've detailed that a banishment would be in order if you decided you didn't want that to be part of your life - rather just communicate with the being, whomever or whatever they are, and indicate you have set a boundary there so they really don't have much of a purpose hanging around.

On the other hand if you are extremely averse to sex and sexual energy, then an incubus being there, if willing, could act as protection from that by feeding off of anything coming your way and so blocking advances or uncomfortable situations you're not capable of handling on your own. This in itself could be a great boon to gain personal clarity if you feel somewhat accosted by it so often that it's causing anxiety, stress, etc. until you're ready to tackle it more thoughtfully. I don't know if that's something you deal with so it may or may not be relevant.


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LucyHeartfilia6
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DKBrown wrote: Sun Aug 09, 2020 6:08 pm I am curious, what is the motivation for getting an incubus?
Hey! I didn’t get a conjuring for him. He’s an unbound that came to me a while ago and I met him stay since he didn’t pose any threat to me :)


LucyHeartfilia6
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Johnny Seraph wrote: Sun Aug 09, 2020 10:45 pm Well, before you rush to ward him off...

Have you tried communicating with him? By that I mean, actually trying to have a two-way conversation? The only thing I see in your posts is, you've told him about your preference, and you've let him have at you to appease him. But have you actually asked him why, and then respectfully heard him out?

Because, here's the thing: he may not be sure you've noticed him. If you're not actively talking to him, and listening for his responses, he might actually think you haven't even noticed him, and paradoxically, he may still be trying to get your attention for, as far as he knows, the first time.

Incubi typically don't hang around people that they aren't passionate about for some reason. And if they're serious, they will want more give and take than just sex. So, definitely try to respectfully engage him, if you haven't done so.

I have an incubus in my keep, who fairly recently gave me three questions to ask an unfamiliar incubus. Ask him the following questions, in an environment that's mutually comfortable for both of you.

What that means is, don't let him insist on only talking to you in bed and undressed, but for your part, don't try to ask him these questions right in front of your friendly neighborhood exorcist. Ask him on neutral ground, where you'll both feel comfortable talking.

1. What do you see in me, that you're so passionate about? Do not accept an evasive answer for this, and do not accept anything sexual.

He should be able to respond right away, and with something that's more meaningful than just the boudoir boogie-woogie. If he can explain what he sees in you, and it's something that's not sexual in nature, then he's serious; hear him out, and decide whether you want to have him around. If he's evasive, or says he only wants rolls in the proverbial hay, then either he can't be honest with you, or he only views you as a hookup. If that's the case, proceed with extreme caution.

2. Other than sex, what do you want from me? Do not accept "Nothing" for an answer.

This dovetails a bit with the previous question. If you're more to an incubus than just a sex partner (which you really should be), then he'll understand that you have your limitations. So, what happens during those times when you can't engage like that? There's likely to be something else, that's non-sexual, and that's probably something he can't do alone, that he hopes you can do. Whatever that is, it shouldn't be a burden or an imposition.

3. Other than sex, what are you offering me in return? Again, "Nothing" is not an acceptable answer.

If he's serious, he'll know that asking for your companionship is a very, very big ask for an incubus. He will already understand that sexuality is a very delicate subject for humans in general, so it's anticipated that he's going to have to offer you something practical, in order to make it worth your time.

If he's serious, then he'll answer those questions honestly, and he'll know you'll need time to think it through. But definitely try communicating with him, give and take, on neutral ground, before you jump straight to warding him off.


I completely understand! I haven’t really thought about it this way. I’m going to try and communicate with him and ask those specific questions and I’ll update you when he gives me a response!


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Johnny Seraph
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So, what's the latest on this?


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