what should i do

[Thyr]

It's really psychological awareness. And it probably needs to be done continually for the rest of our lives. You could call it a form of self development, I think.

This sums it up pretty well. Thank you Lewk.

And always take a step back to look at scenarios like this from a broader perspective; there's usually something being overlooked.

What's also shadow work.
Small steps can have a huge impact, if you dare to be(come) aware and step out of your comfort zone.
Your comfort zone might include not wanting to let go of a companion you're actually not compatible with, like Vipera aspis atra mentioned.

[pokemonsavage]

If a presence really is repeatedly pushing your boundaries then ignoring them for a little while is more of an immature approach to the matter, it feeds into toxicity and obviously it doesn't work because this presence presumably continues with the same behavior.
If you are correct about the spirit being this way, and there's no understanding or compromise that can be come to, the best course of action would be to discontinue the relationship because it shows you two are not compatible.

A few side points:

1.) If your incubus binding is a custom conjuration, from a reputable seller, then they are matched to you and it is more likely that misinterpretation is at play.

2.) You may need to take a second look at your rules and determine whether they are truly fair to everyone. I believe the guide should be that your rules allow for mutual respect.

3.) Understand that when inviting Dark Arts spirits into your life, part of what you should expect naturally is that they might push boundaries and often it is to test your strength, which is important if you're going to work with darker forces.
If you're apprehensive about shadow work, you definitely can't expect a walk in the park with dark arts beings. Setting boundaries is healthy, but it doesn't protect you from being challenged and working with DA spirits is an invitation to be challenged. A well-matched conjuration has your best interest at heart, nonetheless.

Give that some thought. And always take a step back to look at scenarios like this from a broader perspective; there's usually something being overlooked.

he was a reverse adoption but from a pretty reputable seller from my understanding , he calms down a bit if i super get onto him and he typically reacts very positively when i work with him , but its just frustrating cause he does seem very intent on being the dominant one , he was labeled as a dominant guy but i didn't figure it would be so harsh , he was one of my first companions cause i had a very different view of DA when i first started , i always heard that they were fine and i shouldn't have any problems ever pretty much , so that was on me for not doing more research ig but i didnt know anything at all so im not gonna be hard on myself idk, im much more open to working with DA and shadow work and all that more spooky stuff then i was way back when , ive been doing this for a year now and ive gotten a good amount of experience and know how stuff works more now but yeah he is just a very tough one to deal with , i prob wouldn't have gone for DA until now if i had known more , he mostly just keeps breaking rules regarding my boundaries and fears , he will say stuff to try and trigger me alot since i have anxiety and will just keep doing things when i say to stop , that's pretty much 90% of my problem is he just pushes everything

[pokemonsavage]

What rules are he breaking? I think it would help with giving good advice if we knew what he was getting up to that you're uncomfortable with. Like, if it was something small, I would give different advice than if he was doing something extremely damaging, you know?

i have high anxiety so he will say stuff to trigger my anxieties or trauma and if i ask him to stop doing things he will push on it and keep doing it for a bit that's basically 90% of my problems with him ,

[pokemonsavage]

i had a problem with a trickster unbound when i first started that messed with me alot and he will say he is just trying to make me learn how to deal with stuff like that and also my anxiety , which would be fine if he would be more respectful of my boundaries about working with it , i will say not now im busy cuase ill be working or ill be already upset over something else and he will try to start up on messing with me and wont stop unless i get on him hard for it or just work with him , he seems nice when he isnt trying to push me but he just does it everyday and its gotten frustrating so thats why im here, like he will budge a bit if i start getting super upset about the way he does things but overall he seems pretty intent on doing things his way and its just frustrating

[Lewk]

Please do consider very seriously the very good advice above.

Having said that, have you at least tried the subduing method, which is literally for situations when a bound spirit companion is too much in your face or overactive...

'Caring for your Incubus is the same as caring for any other spirit except being a creature of duality there is a way to keep your Incubus under control if you feel it is becoming too energetic, too strong in manifestation or too "in your face". Place the vessel of the Incubus near a rosary until they become subdued and submissive. Only use this technique if you feel the Incubus is becoming too strong for your liking- some collectors like their spirits to be "on the go" all the time so it is your judgment call.'

https://www.creepyhollows.com/faq/?acti ... artlang=en

And another, temporary, type of coping mechanism you can use is to put the vessel away from you when a bound spirit is too much for you to handle.

But please do consider seriously the very good advice above in this thread.

[pokemonsavage]

Please do consider very seriously the very good advice above.

Having said that, have you at least tried the subduing method, which is literally for situations when a bound spirit companion is too much in your face or overactive...

'Caring for your Incubus is the same as caring for any other spirit except being a creature of duality there is a way to keep your Incubus under control if you feel it is becoming too energetic, too strong in manifestation or too "in your face". Place the vessel of the Incubus near a rosary until they become subdued and submissive. Only use this technique if you feel the Incubus is becoming too strong for your liking- some collectors like their spirits to be "on the go" all the time so it is your judgment call.'

https://www.creepyhollows.com/faq/?acti ... artlang=en

And another, temporary, type of coping mechanism you can use is to put the vessel away from you when a bound spirit is too much for you to handle.

But please do consider seriously the very good advice above in this thread.

i have been subduing him with a rosary which calms things down a bit , he is also bound to my spirit so i dont think that second one would work lol

[Thyr]

I think the best thing would be to get in contact with the conjurer and explain everything to them. You could agree on a timeout for both of you for maybe a month or they might decide, that rehoming is a better option, if things won't work out.

By the way, shadow work isn't just "scary stuff", it's proper psychology. Carl Gustav Jung worked together with Sigmund Freud on the basics of psychoanalysis. A lot of therapists work with his methods. Your shadow could also hide a lot of positive aspects from you, if you're feeling not worthy.

[pokemonsavage]

I think the best thing would be to get in contact with the conjurer and explain everything to them. You could agree on a timeout for both of you for maybe a month or they might decide, that rehoming is a better option, if things won't work out.

By the way, shadow work isn't just "scary stuff", it's proper psychology. Carl Gustav Jung worked together with Sigmund Freud on the basics of psychoanalysis. A lot of therapists work with his methods. Your shadow could also hide a lot of positive aspects from you, if you're feeling not worthy.

ive been trying to get in contact with them for 6 months about everything that's happening , i just now finally started getting responses to my questions but they have only been answering one of them at a time with every reply and 1 reply takes 2 weeks .. i have to keep messaging them all the time to get responses for anything and they never fully answer everything i have to ask

[Thyr]

You're struggling half a year and not making any progress? That's not healthy for both of you and your relationship. In which ways are you communicating?

[pokemonsavage]

You're struggling half a year and not making any progress? That's not healthy for both of you and your relationship. In which ways are you communicating?

Gmail and ive even tried her fb a few times