✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* New development in meditation *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[chemtrailchild]

I realized that I wasted my efforts in trying to meditate because I'm never not meditating. Sounds ridiculous, and you know, it actually really is.

For as long as I can remember I've always been in my inner world--contemplating, observing, reflecting, daydreaming (visualizing), etc. The outside world would always be shut out unless I was obligated to be in the moment doing something like schoolwork. I still managed to do any other chores/duties growing up while in my inner world. No wonder why the only schoolwork I actually was invested in, enjoyed, and retained information in was Art class or creative writing. I've tuned out 90% of school. Yikes.

I am still the same today, and will always remain so. No wonder why techniques didn't work. I never had to try and meditate. What I did have to try to do was be present and engaged in reality the way everyone else would. It's my biggest struggle.

At least I still managed to come up with a method of some sort, it could be useful-ish still.

Also, it is definitely no wonder why I've always been so susceptible to strong anxiety and depression.... always been in my head.

Lol this was a big facepalm moment. Lot's coming together.