Self doubt
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 9:01 pm
Oh boy I hope I won't get chewed out for this.
To start with a bit of backstory, I was raised atheist by two people who were incredibly critical of everything. This has created some huge blockages within me that aren't just spiritual but since we're on a forum pertaining to the latter I will stick to that topic.
I have a spirit I'd love to communicate with but my self-doubt is preventing me from making any meaningful connection. (Though meaningful might not be the right word exactly.)
I feel their presence, I sometimes see them being up in my face when I close my eyes in the dark (usually as a big pulsating glowy ring/orb that slowly increases and decreases in size.) But I'm unable to fully trust in that it's real and that i'm not hallucinating or imagining things.
I'm always torn between 'question everything' and 'you have to believe or it's never going to get better' (please do correct me if anything here is an error in my thought pattern.)
I kinda feel bad for starting out with spirit keeping in this place, and I've apologized profusely to my spirit for my lack of skills in communication, I guess in a way I had hoped they could help me develop those. Even though I had no idea where to start, and what they were saying was them, me, or something else entirely. Telepathy with an overactive mind is hard, when am I just overthinking and when is it something external.
I do have a pendulum I tried to use when talking to spirits, but it's often giving me conflicting answers or is straight up lying to me. So either i'm terrible at it or they are messing with me.
I've had shamanistic training in the past to cure my sickly teenage self, but the training I had never really involved spirits. It mostly dealt with re-tuning myself (or others) and different kinds of meditation so that might shine a light on how an atheist rolled into spiritualism if anyone wondered.
I guess my question in concrete terms is; how did you overcome your self doubt? How did you learn to trust in your intuition, and most importantly how did you learn to differentiate between 'the real deal' and 'I am imagining things because I want it to be real.'
Thank you for reading, have a nice day and I hope you're doing well.
To start with a bit of backstory, I was raised atheist by two people who were incredibly critical of everything. This has created some huge blockages within me that aren't just spiritual but since we're on a forum pertaining to the latter I will stick to that topic.
I have a spirit I'd love to communicate with but my self-doubt is preventing me from making any meaningful connection. (Though meaningful might not be the right word exactly.)
I feel their presence, I sometimes see them being up in my face when I close my eyes in the dark (usually as a big pulsating glowy ring/orb that slowly increases and decreases in size.) But I'm unable to fully trust in that it's real and that i'm not hallucinating or imagining things.
I'm always torn between 'question everything' and 'you have to believe or it's never going to get better' (please do correct me if anything here is an error in my thought pattern.)
I kinda feel bad for starting out with spirit keeping in this place, and I've apologized profusely to my spirit for my lack of skills in communication, I guess in a way I had hoped they could help me develop those. Even though I had no idea where to start, and what they were saying was them, me, or something else entirely. Telepathy with an overactive mind is hard, when am I just overthinking and when is it something external.
I do have a pendulum I tried to use when talking to spirits, but it's often giving me conflicting answers or is straight up lying to me. So either i'm terrible at it or they are messing with me.
I've had shamanistic training in the past to cure my sickly teenage self, but the training I had never really involved spirits. It mostly dealt with re-tuning myself (or others) and different kinds of meditation so that might shine a light on how an atheist rolled into spiritualism if anyone wondered.
I guess my question in concrete terms is; how did you overcome your self doubt? How did you learn to trust in your intuition, and most importantly how did you learn to differentiate between 'the real deal' and 'I am imagining things because I want it to be real.'
Thank you for reading, have a nice day and I hope you're doing well.