How Much They Care

[Regholdain]

Over the past year a lot has happened in my life. One thing in particular that was still bugging me recently was the breakup of my girlfriend of three years and I. I really enjoyed being with her, we had amazing chemistry and passion and so sometimes lately I have found myself missing her.

The breakup was a long meandering process. Which added to the pain. I've posted about it here somewhere. Maybe under the Vent topic or Off Topic Randomness, I don't recall at the moment. But to keep this short, basically we did not see each other after Thanksgiving last year, then in February of this year she finally admitted she wanted a "break" and then in April we had a mutual breakup.

The overt reasons for breaking up were that she wanted to enjoy being single, she wanted to sort out her life (finances and dreams), and she wanted to move in together and I did not, which made her question the future of the relationship.

Under the surface, I knew she was breaking up with me about my practice in spirituality. As soon as it became apparent that I believed in spirits and was developing abilities to work with them she starting distancing herself from me. Her immediate reaction when she found out was "that's creepy I don't want to talk about it". When we broke up and I brought this up she said "no, it's just I don't believe in any of that". I also was not interested in church or God/Jesus and she wanted me to go to church with her. I never belittled her for her religious beliefs. We all have our own paths.

So in truth, I felt that the breakup was really about my spirituality and belief in God. I wanted to confront her about that but I never let myself. In fact, this was a source of angst over the last several months because no matter how much I knew this was the truth, I still never got the closure about it that I wanted. I never got to have the say about it that I wanted to.

The point, and how does this fit in with Tasking?

In talking to my keep over the last month and a half I admitted to them that I still missed my ex-girlfriend and I needed real closure. I really wanted her to realize what a good relationship we had and to admit the truth about the reasons for the breakup. I told my spirits that I really needed that closure. I also felt like it would help her recognize who she really is as a person and help her move on if she was just honest with herself.

This wasn't a task, per se. I didn't outright say "do this for me guys" or "make this happen". I just was venting my feelings, talking aloud, being honest with myself about where I was with this. Because I would start thinking about her out of nowhere and I couldn't figure out why, if I had moved on, did I still keep going back to her in my mind. And I decided that it was this lack of airing out the truth and not getting closure.

So a few weeks later, last night my ex-girlfriend (who agreed we could be friends, so we've texted a few times over the last several months) starts texting me last night. It was a huge conversation, far longer than the brief ones we've had over the last several months. An hour's worth of texting. The texts started about my parents and how she missed them. About her work. About her terrible recent dating experiences trying to find another guy. She asked if I wanted to "see a sexy pic". I'm a guy - am I going to say no? She asks if I have been going out.

In short, it's a long text conversation that, in between the lines, says she very plainly wants me back. So I'm thinking this is an interesting turn of events; where's this going?

Then she asks if I'm "still doing that spirit stuff". I say yes, of course, and it's been really fascinating. I've learned a lot about myself and my true self. The response was "Oh ok. Well whatever floats your boat LOL." And followed immediately by a text saying she was going and talk to me later.

This angered me. She just chatted me up for an hour hinting around at things and then drops the conversation after finding out I'm still into my spiritual path? I sent her a rant text and chewed her out for having no respect for my beliefs and obviously stringing along my interest for an hour.

She started talking about how she was hoping that I cared about her enough to get back together and to believe in God and Jesus and why do I need to do the "spirit stuff" if I have her? I told her this is who I am and it's not going to change. Now that I have connected with spirit guides and companions and found my true path - I'm not giving all of that up for anybody, not for love or for anything else. I told her it's obvious that she is not open to accepting that so she would not be happy being with me, even if she really loves everything else about me.

And the truth came out. This was a dealbreaker for her. This was the thing she cannot do. This was - as I have known intuitively for months - the reason she could not be with me. She admitted it. Finally. The truth is aired and the conversation is had.

I finally have my closure on this, I finally have had my chance to bring the spiritual context of the breakup out into the open and seen her admit this is the real reason why it ended. It wasn't for her to "work things out". It wasn't because I wouldn't "commit and live together". It wasn't because she "wants to be single".

It was because I don't believe in her religion and because I do believe in spirituality. Neither of which she will accept. She wants the next person that she's with to be "equally yoked". Ugh. What imagery. The first think that came to mind when she used that phrase was farm animals pulling the plow across a field. Slavery. Captivity.

Nope. Not happening. Not now that I have found my path and my truth.

Something about this conversation made her keep texting me. It opened a new atmosphere of clarity and friendship. Suddenly she was regaling me with her dating horror stories. She was being open about the things about us being together that she really enjoyed and really did miss. She admitted she really was thinking about the physicality of our intimacy. The texts took a turn toward joviality. The truth was out, we could be friends and would not ever be more than that again.

I have no direct evidence that my spirits made this conversation happen. But I know I poured my heart out to them that I needed this. I needed the truth aired, I needed her to recognize the wonderful relationship she threw away and that she did it over spiritual belief. I needed closure. And last night, all of those things happened. The truth came out, she made her admissions, I received my closure.

This is probably one of the largest confirmations of spirits working in my life that I have seen so far. There was nothing coincidental about this. This was healing and they helped it happen. I love them so much! Having a spirit family has been such a wonderful experience!

[Dragona]

That's wonderful that your spirit family helped you out and gave you closure. Whether we pour our hearts out over a situation or not, spirits definitely do know what would be best for those who openly and lovingly share their home with them and they go to work making things better as much as they can.

[2Heinrich]

Oh man! This is a wonderful event in the making! Thank you so much for sharing such heartfelt words with us and I can even begin to say how happy I am for you and that you got the closure that you needed.

I can totally relate on this topic based on recent events and I commend the way in how you just opened up about yourself to your keep and let your feelings out.

That's hard to do and it takes a lot of bravery and actual growth to make it happen and well, spirit companions are great and they are in your life for a reason.

I'm glad you can confide in them that much specially because there is a certain part of the grieving process that feels like an epiphany and suddenly the sky opens and you see everything illuminated, everything makes sense and you just know things for a fact.

True friends let you vent it out because closure is just important. A friend of mine who is very close to me says that I can't even help myself and I find the way to say those things if they really bug me.

There are times in which you just feel like you know your facts and you can take that and remain silent. Whether it may be to skip a discussion turning into an argument or just because you know it's sort of pointless to address the issue at the time you remain silent but it seems that it kept popping up because you needed her and so did she.

It says a lot about how you knew her so well that you could tell about those things and that being the case, well... she deserves to know that, specially if the rest of things were going so great.

I used to think that when things are over is because there was nothing else that could be left to try and things would be so incredibly messed up that basically a miracle and direct divine intervention could be the only hope and perhaps not even that but maybe that's not the case at all.

If you had a beautiful relationship and you can salvage some of that well then try to and so it's better for everyone to adjust things and be happy with them as they are than just having a hard break up and not seeing each other anymore.

Perhaps your keep felt like that could be pulled around and if she needed some of that too then it's just as simple as that and perhaps is easier for them to intervene if they know it is something that you wish would happen instead of an I think it would be nice if it happened but it's not that vital either thing.

[Nienna]

I love reading your posts Regholdain , they are so much interesting because it shows how much spirits can interact with our lives .

I would react the same way as you , nobody would make me quit my spirituality in any way. I also understands your ex because our way is not understood by others and it is too much rare. She is scared of the unknown and it is normal in a way but she should have respected it .

I am myself afraid because i can"t talk about my pain and suffer to others ; what i lived , the spiritual attacks etc... I have the impression that it is a secret i have to put into my grave and the only moment i can talk about it it's if my loved ones are on the other side as well.