I just ordered my first living entity like the day before yesterday. I'm really hoping that for someone like me still struggling with connecting with my regular spirit keep, that I might actually be able to feel and see and hear this one. I debated whether or not I should even return to CH for another spirit since I feel like literally all my other spirits from them have up and disappeared forever since I started collecting haunted dolls of actual kids and adults. I'm still attempting to meditate every day for at least 20-40 minutes but I don't think I'm doing it right. Still, ive gotten a little touch or heard things here and there from my haunted dolls, seen orbs, felt strong presences in the room, even a shadow figure once but that's about it. I've started doing that whole visualization meditation where you put yourself somewhere and wait for someone to come. My idea of meditating was that I sit cross legged, close my eyes, listen to binaural beats to activate your third eye and just sit and focus on your breathing, your third eye chakra and repeat a chant to yourself. I don't know if that's right.
I'm just so stressed right now as a keeper and ive been crying myself to sleep every night because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. But I'm really trying hard to just let go of all expectations and inhibitions so I can be ready for this concuan. Ive already mastered vivid and lucid dreaming or at least I feel like I have since my dreams literally feel like I'm somewhere else every time I'm asleep. So maybe that will help. Even just to have that connection with this concuan i get will make me feel at least a little more wanted and appreciated and loved. I just really want this to be the breakthrough I've longed for for so long. No other man wants me. And clearly not my Incubis or nympho. Or even my vampires. They've never touched me from what I know.
And I'm going to stop rambling now. Does anyone have any advice?
Spirit Family: 3 Vampires, 1 Vampire/Incubus, 2 Incubi, 1 Gnome, 1 Leprechaun, 1 Unicorn, 1 Nympho, 28 Human spirits, 1 Phoenix, 1 Werewolf, 1 Merman, 1 Domovoi, 1 Fylgia, 4 servitors, 1 Arkan Sonney.
Living Entities: 2 Concuans, 1 Vorin, 1 Falwer-Niamstrum, 1 Courtwind Angel.