Wanting To Reconcile With an Ex-Bound Spirit

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ARandomDemon
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Let me get this out of the way and say this post is a huge downer.

Long before I had got my Volkh and Wraith, I had a reverse adoption high elf. She was the first spirit I had gotten from this website. I saw all of the stories that people had with their spirits and I thought it was cool so I ended up ordering a spirit from reverse adoption and I ended up having her bound to spirit (VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL).

A high elf named 'B' came along and I was excited...
However, right when I received her vessel, everything began to go wrong.
I started getting paranoid for no real reason that she was reading my thoughts and judging me for them. I started having bizarre mood swings where I'd literally cry for no reason and wanted her out of my life. One moment I'd be having a great time with her letting her pop up out her vessel to mess with the cat like 'A' and 'W' does and the next I'd be sobbing and being paranoid about my thoughts the next. When I held or was near her vessel, it felt like she was staring through my soul judging me.
Now those mood swings had NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE UNTIL I'VE RECEIVED THE SPIRIT.

Those problems had gotten so bad to the point I had to leave her vessel in another room because I was so unlike myself, then it went from the other room to the backyard until finally, I left the vessel in some woods and had her unbound feeling depressed the whole way through. Once she was unbound, I immediately returned to reclaim the vessel hoping she'd still be there but then the feelings returned, but not as severe as before. Still, I couldn't stand how it made me felt so once again, it ended up in someone else's backyard so I can never reclaim it. For some reason,when I knew I couldn't reclaim the vessel it didn't feel like someone was reading my mind anymore.

I then realized that something wasn't right. I was acting out of character when the spirit came along so I thought I was either cursed or had mental issues that were exaggerated because of a curse, so I ended up getting a Volkh and a Wraith in an attempt to remove my problems (I did not have them bound to spirit this time)
When they came, the "they're judging my thoughts' paranoia returned but I did not have any depressive mood swings this time.

I gradually added more spirits despite the paranoia and eventually the paranoia went away.
Now I have 13 spirits in total and I don't really feel the thought paranoia anymore and it didn't require therapy or medication either. I'm giving the spirits offerings and I kind of talk to them. Sometimes I say stupid things or reveal too much information about my feelings but still.
Anyway, realizing that I'm able to have 13 spirits around without any major issues, I felt guilty about all of the things I've done to 'B' and I wished to have her back around so today, I lit a scented candle, had a plate of blueberries and tried to summon 'B" to apologize/explain my behaviors. I did mention somewhere during this that I wasn't mentally stable but I have 13 spirits around and I don't feel paranoid or have any mood swings anymore and I wished that I could have her back. I took the blueberries and placed them outside and told her that she could eat them if she wanted to and also if 'B' wanted to learn about my issues in detail that she should get in contact with the other spirits since they know me.

Turns out that there may be a small bit of hope because on October 19 2019 I ended up doing an unbound reading around my house and one of the spirits that was mentioned was a female high elf meaning that 'B' might've returned last year but I'm not sure if it's really her or not. Maybe 'B' moved on to someone else.
Due to my past experiences with 'B', I WILL NOT CONSIDER BINDING HER STRAIGHT AWAY because some bridges may have been burned and the Creepy Hollows Mods wouldn't want me to rebind a spirit that I've had emotional issues with even though the mood swings and paranoia weren't in my control.


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Lewk
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That's interesting to read. Thank you for sharing.

You do seem to have gone in a generally more positive direction with your spirit keeping compared with before, which is good to hear. I think quite lot of us go through periods of uncertainty or paranoia with our spirits in one way or another. I find it reassuring to realise they do see things differently than us living humans do and they are understanding when we have difficulties.

Reconciliation sounds like a good thing, in principle. If there is an unbound around you, perhaps you can get a reading on who they are and what they want, in terms of relating to you? You don't have to rush into asking to have them bound for life.

You could interact with them as an unbound - if you have the communication skills.

Thinking about my own situation, I had quite a few unbound spirit friends that were 'attached'. I got the CH binding unbounds box and managed to bind them (with their consent). That box has an option for temporary binding, which I understand allows the spirit - or keeper? - to end it at any time. I think CH could clear that point up.

So I wonder if either restoring contact and dialogue with the elf as an unbound or having a temporary binding could be a less pressurised way to explore reconciliation? (If they're up for that.)


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ARandomDemon
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You are...: a practitioner
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My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Hal
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In terms of getting a reading on who the unbound high elf is or what they want, I don't think creepy hollows offers single unbound readings just nonspecific readings about multiple unbounds in the home.
I don't have any communication or spirit hearing skills to know what "b' would feel about the situation.


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Alena
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Did you get her from CH? If so, was she bridged? If not from CH, did the seller offer a similar thing? If she was bridged or something similar, she may still be bound, even without the vessel.


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ARandomDemon
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You are...: a practitioner
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My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Hal
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I had mentioned in the first post that she came from CH and she had a vessel and was bridged but I don't intend on rebinding her at this moment because I still had burned some bridges even though the whole situation wasn't exactly my fault or hers either.


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ARandomDemon
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You are...: a practitioner
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If I could be anything, I would be...: Myself
My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Hal
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Small correction; When I had said ''Bound to spirit'' I meant that the spirits were bridged from their physical vessels.


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Nienna
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I have almost the same story as you, I started spirit keeping for a couple of months and then was heavily attacked by negative entities (I had to go to a mental hospital after). I abandoned my 2 spirits by sending them away in an unknown place, I put hteir vessels in a letter and into a letter box. At the time, my mind was heavily controlled so I didn't knew what I was doing.
I always regretted that...

I would advise to not bound her back yet and investigate more what was this thing that attacked you. Did this thing came with the high elf (following it maybe)? What kind of spirit is it? And most importantly is it still linked to you? Will it attack you again?

If you cannot answer to these questions or if you can solve this problem then do not contact her too much for now. Because abandoning a spirit is something really cruel even done inconsciously (though I understand you for doing that at the time).


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ARandomDemon
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You are...: a practitioner
Number of Spirits: 5
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If I could be anything, I would be...: Myself
My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Hal
Zodiac:

Its been too long, at least 2 years ago since I had to deal with the thing in question. I can't just investigate the problem when it had gone off and disappeared after it messed with my relationship with 'B'. All I'm left with is the consequences of what it did.

Yesterday, I had left 'B' a small offering of faery tea that I had brewed that came from etsy. I think 'B' might've took the offering because there was almost no tea in the small measuring cup I've placed on the ground although there were ants all around the tea drinking it.


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Nienna
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Maybe it was just a negative spirit that just appeared at the same time as your bound spirit and attacked you, proof is you took some time before it was gone (with the adoption of your 13 spirits). Maybe this negative was not linked with her at all.

Anyway it is good that you interact with her without any paranoia; slowly but surely is the right way togo back to a ancient relationship.


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ARandomDemon
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You are...: a practitioner
Number of Spirits: 5
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If I could be anything, I would be...: Myself
My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Hal
Zodiac:

Yes, it seems to be going smoothly but I worry that whatever that thing was will return IF I ended up making the decision to rebind 'B'. Of course nothing will happen since 'B' isn't in my house but if 'B' is in a gemstone, the thing might come out from the woodwork to mess with my feelings again.


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