Demons, back to square 1

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2Heinrich
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Demons, back to square 1

Post by 2Heinrich »

Hello peeps!

Hope you're doing fine when/if you see this.

I'm trying to make this post because I'm at an interesting point in my journey.

For the past couple of days I've been really watching a lot of videos about people working with demons and by the time I noticed I had probably spent more time at it than just a couple of interesting videos I realized that I was actually coming to terms with a lot of stuff except that this time I haven't really been putting up as much resistance as I did before.

It's been almost three years now since I started spirit keeping actively and even though I'm not yet as satisfied with my progress as much as I wished to be, I can't deny the fact that I've come a long way but precisely that same realization has also made me understand that I'm sort of back at square one.

I started out as a kid, without perhaps realizing much about all the hard work behind my goal but I wanted to contact demons and strike a deal for a loved one's poor health.

Little did I know at that age that this person had been fighting a terrible disease long before I was even born, and yet I wanted to do something for them. As you can imagine, it didn't work, naturally but that didn't discourage me and I understood that I needed to learn how to do things appropriately.

So I started learning and then I would notice how when I begin to feel that I've made some progress and come a long way I start gravitating back towards demons.

Much like coming home after a big journey only to get enough rest before heading out again into the world and start working all over, I found a pattern and through every step of my path demons have been there calling out for me until this last time it was way too obvious to ignore.

Last time though, it didn't end up so well for me. I met a person who had more experience working with demons and we were friends for a while only until I started this person started to change and tried to take advantage of me, or just being close to this person would get me into trouble and dissatisfaction when we had always had a great time together.

We parted ways, rather politely and I moved on to do my healing before I could move on but even as I started to embrace more and more of my calling to become a keeper and start actively pursuing my path I realized that I had been coming back towards demons yet again.

I've grown a lot in many different ways since I started this journey and I still feel that same nervousness and doubt I felt as a kid wanting to approach demons but this time I have had an interesting experience and it is that all of my life seems to point me in this direction. To let go of my fears and doubts and give in.

I have learned a lot about ritual meditation, I have come to terms with experiences of the past and for a couple of days I feel like I have been directly talking and learning from something bigger than myself and it's not from one of my companions.

So... my point is this... we cannot deny that we have heard a bunch of stuff in regards to demons, and even as a keeper with all the willingness and acceptance that I have learned in this short time I can't seem to shake the uncertainty and make up my mind and commit to start working with them as I would welcome any new companion into my spirit family.

I feel like I have been procrastinating with my spiritual development, delaying the inevitable with my doubts and concerns and instead of addressing them and getting them out of the way I am just avoiding my duties and acting like they're not there piling up.

How do I take that first big step and get going instead of being afraid of the change and all the things that could go wrong? What helped you be certain that you were making the right decision even though you already knew?


That which don't kill me shall run. 2cl

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Lonikh
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Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by Lonikh »

My experience is minimal to none im new to this stuff of contacting demons. It all started with an aparision as always when i was just a kid there was this small light coming from my computer and i could see what it looked like a horse headed man looking down to its huge claws hands. I was afraid but he wasn't moving as i turned on the light he disappeared as those things always does. After many years i learned little things here and there until i learned about spirit keeping. As i progress my journey 1 and a half year now i did a past life reading and as it turned out i was a pirate girl dressed as a man 😆. Until a girl surving drinks hit my interested and from that moment on we ended up together. That girl was a witch and worked with Valefore. And he found me in this life because he was interested in working with me. I bought a safe portal to him learned his sigil and enn give him offerings when i can and meditate with him.
If you want to start, start small like you know nothing of this subject take new notes find demons that you would like to work with learn about them and safely venture into a new journey.
I grew up in an orthodox household were anything paranormal was bad and i had to thew this belief away and start anew if i made it you will figure out things too


5 Sanguine vampire (N) (C) (O) (M) (C). 1 Cambion (J). 1 Balkan vampire (H). 1 Psy Vampire (A). 2 Hellhound (M) (L). 1 Abchanchu vampire (C). 1 Strigoi Mort Vampire (J). 1 Incubus (O). 1 Vrykolakas (T)
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2Heinrich
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Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by 2Heinrich »

Hey Lonikh!

Thanks for your reply.

I think you have a very interesting story from what you shared.

Also... I can relate as well to your upbringing. I was raised in a catholic household, so even though it doesn't always relate to my personal beliefs I do know the "official" standing in regards to most of these topics and that's part of the nature of the issue itself.

As a kid, things got rough for us for a long time, and it wasn't the best place to be but it was better than nothing I guess and when things would be specially difficult I would get shadows in my room. That's how it all started. I was afraid of going to sleep because whenever my parents began to argue they would go to wake me up so that I would pick a side for them so during a lot of those restless nights I found that there were shadows in my room and despite how everyone would speak of shadows as evil things, I found a lot of comfort from them when my loved ones that should be supporting me well... weren't doing their jobs.

Eventually I grew up and became obsessed with Succubi, I have a couple of them in my keep now and they are wonderful but it al spawned from a poor self esteem and a deep wish to be found beautiful or appealing by a being who would choose me when they could have whomever they wanted.

And then there is goth and metal cultures and as much as I love them, I know a lot of it is for show or artistical purposes.

So there's a big problem when I try to speak about my experiences because some say it's dark, some say it's black. Some would say it's evil or they would mislabel things under big umbrella terms which are more often than not, not very helpful.


That which don't kill me shall run. 2cl

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Lonikh
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Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by Lonikh »

Im a goth myself but not for the reasons you are 😝. Yeap i totally understand try telling your people or anyone about altars and offerings and spells and spirits etc. This forum is the only place i can speak freely about my experiences and ask questions and learn stuff.


5 Sanguine vampire (N) (C) (O) (M) (C). 1 Cambion (J). 1 Balkan vampire (H). 1 Psy Vampire (A). 2 Hellhound (M) (L). 1 Abchanchu vampire (C). 1 Strigoi Mort Vampire (J). 1 Incubus (O). 1 Vrykolakas (T)
1 Lover:Manananggal Vampire (A). 1 Moroi Vampire (D). 1 Ulaphres Angel (R). 1 Sin Eater (K)
1 Astral Vampire Xarimar (D). 1 Stryx (B). 1 Black Dragon (E). 1 Serbian Mullo Vampire (D). 1 Egyptian Vampire (L)

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2Heinrich
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If I could be anything, I would be...: Shapeshifter
My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Heinrich

Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by 2Heinrich »

Yay for goths!

In the end everyone has their reasons and it's fine. Shouldn't be something that gets in the way and just like you said, this is a place where we can share experiences and discuss openly about certain topics that are harder to express sometimes than how they really should be.


That which don't kill me shall run. 2cl

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Kitsune
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Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by Kitsune »

If you want to explore and pursue working with, and understanding demons, I recommend checking out the Satan and Suns forum. They specialize in demons and the forum is full of great info.


"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup"

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2Heinrich
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If I could be anything, I would be...: Shapeshifter
My super power would be...: See spirits in true form
My magical/paranormal name...: Heinrich

Re: Demons, back to square 1

Post by 2Heinrich »

Thanks Kitsune!

I know how they are, and embarrassingly didn't know they had a forum haha. Will definitely check it out.

Thank you so much.


That which don't kill me shall run. 2cl

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