Member Communications and it's Importance

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Glowworm
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I want to know about these other forums and chatrooms too for the same reasons mentioned. It is a shame.


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darkwing dook
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Ishvala wrote: Something else came to mind concerning this. If they don't restrict members and drama happens as all forums have it from time to time, so they close communication down and drama still happens through members feeling highly restricted and hand held as if they're stupid (such as the example above) and feeling they can get better elsewhere, bound to talk about how they felt restricted...as free speech is indeed a thing...then what is worse?
Which one made members felt hand-held as if they're stupid? The one where members in chat got so riled up that on of them threatened to suicide? Do you understand how bad it could be if it really happens and this site gets involved in police investigation? Do you know how many other meta sites were taken down due to similar problems?

And this is private-owned, not public-owned or platform, thus any problem would directly affect the owner. And you do know even mainstream social media employed restriction to avoid problem, even though they establish themselves as platform, right?


"Often the truth is in front of your face, but your eyes and heart are so full of lies that you can't see it." Shannon L. Alder

"May you live in interesting times, may you be recognized by people in high places, may you find what you’re looking for."
Noctua
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Darkwing might be telling you some things you weren't aware of which bring a clearer view on why the rules are this way.

Honestly speaking, the majority here do not know how bad the situations which crop up can get. There are things I may not be permitted to share on the severity of that, which have become a direct and immediate liability to CH. So I'm going to hope the lot of you will come to trust when I say that your off-site communication really isn't that important compared to it.
However we have the private messaging system as a way for you to connect with others and that's pretty fair.

If you want to make close friends with or flirt with other members in such a serious way that it must be far outside of this forum, you can probably search via FB through the grapevine to find them. It's really not all that difficult.
And if it is some sort of emergency, you can contact CH and inform them of this and the member(s) in question and see if an arrangement can be made where the person you want to reach out to agrees to share their contact with you.

Should you legitimately dislike CH because they won't cater to desires that have been known time, and time again to risk more liability and which could ultimately shut down this entire site, so that nobody gets to enjoy it, not even the lot who really do not care about off-site communication and come here to openly learn and share their experiences like what a forum is supposed to be about, then you can find alternatives and no one is going to be hurt for that.

Additionally, you should contact CH directly and express this rather than making posts on the subject as they aren't likely to be seen by admin.


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Aurum
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I don't really see what the issue here it. As Noc said, finding people on facebook for example is really easy.


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Muse
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Noctua wrote:Darkwing might be telling you some things you weren't aware of which bring a clearer view on why the rules are this way.


He did shed some light and I appreciate him for that. He also did it in a nice way, which I'm thankful for. That's more than what others can say.

Noctua wrote: However we have the private messaging system as a way for you to connect with others and that's pretty fair.


Is this private messaging system available to everyone...or just a handful of members?

Noctua wrote: If you want to make close friends with or flirt with other members in such a serious way that it must be far outside of this forum, you can probably search via FB through the grapevine to find them. It's really not all that difficult.


You're right, it's not difficult to find someone through social media without an email, consistently used username, or facial recognition of any sort, or anything else that would give a hint as to who they were or where to find them. What was I thinking? I'm so silly. x3

Noctua wrote: And if it is some sort of emergency, you can contact CH and inform them of this and the member(s) in question and see if an arrangement can be made where the person you want to reach out to agrees to share their contact with you.


So we have to ask permission to share contact information, and it isn't not allowed 100% of the time...?

What if we did go through the help desk and got it approved but this wasn't conveyed throughout the entire staff team and members were still punished for it...? I see holes in this suggestion that require filling.


Noctua wrote: Should you legitimately dislike CH because they won't cater to desires that have been known time, and time again to risk more liability and which could ultimately shut down this entire site, so that nobody gets to enjoy it,


I do not dislike CH. If I did I wouldn't be on CH. Seems kind of redundant no? As I said I'm apart of other forums, if I didn't enjoy it here I wouldn't advocate for things, start threads every day or every other day, enjoy conversations with members, purchase several store products, etc.

I do not know the facts of how liable CH is to things and frankly I am forced to only believe half of it considering there are many sites who offer the same or more and have gone through the ringer too and yet have come out fine. Take a look at forum hosts who run and are responsible for hundreds of forums of all sorts such as Jcink, who have had more of their fair share of suicide threats among other nasty things. They weren't always as big as they are, and I'd even go so far as to say they're still smaller than CH because in the end they probably make less money and devote less time (being mostly free and all) whereas CH has its own shop and...you know this comparison can go on forever. Point is, there's concerns to be worried over and then there's just overly concerned. Unless I'm mistaken, which I'm very open to admitting.

Unfortunately I am not privy to the secrets of whatever it is you can't tell us. So I am left to ponder, as any good philosopher does. I do not feel like voicing opinions and asking questions is wrong. Nor do I feel like stating opinions based on facts until proven otherwise is wrong. I admit that what Darkwing said did shed light, but I never denied that CH had some reasons for things, and I even stated in the original post that I was not aware and did not remember all things mentioned in a post they wrote on the subject years prior. I am not harassing CH. I am merely exploring the why behind things.

Noctua wrote: not even the lot who really do not care about off-site communication and come here to openly learn and share their experiences like what a forum is supposed to be about, then you can find alternatives and no one is going to be hurt for that.


People come to forums for community. That is the main reason forum's exist and have existed for years. Only part of community is the sharing of experiences, and as expected, members of forums want different aspects of community. For example, you might be happy with just making a post and getting some decent intelligent responses. I am happy with making a post and then going to chat with members about all manner of things because I enjoy feeling a sense of community in a forum. Which is what a forum is. As stated prior.

All people need and want different things and saying one thing is the only thing that matters to everyone is very prideful of you. It's almost like you're saying the people who want that sense of community don't truly care about the forum and that simply cannot be true, can it? Why waste energy, time, and money on a setting you don't care about, hm?

Noctua wrote: Additionally, you should contact CH directly and express this rather than making posts on the subject as they aren't likely to be seen by admin.
I have. They are "working on it".
Besides, even if I hadn't, this is their forum. They should see it eventually and I'm sure they care about the posts and suggestions made on their own website, no?

Are you implying I'm somehow blind siding them by posting on their own site my concerns...? Because I think that sounds silly.


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Muse
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Aurum wrote:I don't really see what the issue here it. As Noc said, finding people on facebook for example is really easy.
I dare anyone to try to find me on Facebook specifically, as an example of how hard it is. I'll give whoever can do it (that doesn't know me and doesn't hack me) five bucks. I'll even send in a help desk ticket just to get your permission for sending money to your PayPal. That or just send you a gift on CH shop.

Have fun.
If you do find me, let me know how long it took you.
Last edited by Muse on Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Muse
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darkwing dook wrote: Which one made members felt hand-held as if they're stupid?


Maybe I misphrased something?
My implication was that CH doesn't trust the majority of its members to be adults and avoid things like scams and dramatic trolls, etc. (and that was my impression of why they closed down most forms of communication and censored bigger social aspects. I say was because of the below...thanks btw!)
darkwing dook wrote: The one where members in chat got so riled up that on of them threatened to suicide? Do you understand how bad it could be if it really happens and this site gets involved in police investigation? Do you know how many other meta sites were taken down due to similar problems?


Not sure where in the world CH is, but I'm 80% sure the site itself wouldn't be held responsible. Especially if the terms of agreement included something simple such as, "We are not responsible for your actions" etc as most forums include automatically. Granted that doesn't always save people, but if anything the people encouraging that person in chat would be investigated more throughly than CH themselves. Unless they had a more direct role, which I Highly doubt.
darkwing dook wrote: And this is private-owned, not public-owned or platform, thus any problem would directly affect the owner.


Issues on a platform directly affect the owners too. For instance, there was a plagerism issue on an RP forum hosted by proboards and the owner of that forum wound up having to go to court. Not as extreme as the former example, but it still had to do with the law and it was the only law example I personally was a witness of so...take that as you will. Either way people are responsible and either way the people who aren't responsible don't get harassed by the law a majority of the time. From my experience, anyway. Again, not sure if area and culture differs where they are. Could very well be a different case.
darkwing dook wrote: And you do know even mainstream social media employed restriction to avoid problem, even though they establish themselves as platform, right?
How do you mean?


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Aurum
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Ishvala wrote:
Aurum wrote:I don't really see what the issue here it. As Noc said, finding people on facebook for example is really easy.
I dare anyone to try to find me on Facebook specifically, as an example of how hard it is. I'll give whoever can do it (that doesn't know me and doesn't hack me) five bucks. I'll even send in a help desk ticket just to get your permission for sending money to your PayPal. That or just send you a gift on CH shop.

Have fun.
If you do find me, let me know how long it took you.
My point was that when people are open to be found they are easy to find, many people here are friends with Magnolia and Ash on facebook. I have never had any issues finding those people I had wanted to interact with.


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Muse
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Aurum wrote: My point was that when people are open to be found they are easy to find, many people here are friends with Magnolia and Ash on facebook. I have never had any issues finding those people I had wanted to interact with.
People are open to be found, but they cannot share a single thing to help others find them...unless they become friends with Ash and/or Magnolia on FB...?

This isn't a small tight knit community, this is a forum with over a hundred members all of varying experiences and personalities. I doubt the majority of them became friends with Ash and Magnolia (no offense to them). I can only assume that they don't accept every random friend request and I can only assume as all people they have preferences when it comes to who they communicate with on a personal basis (ie. Outside of their work).

So in short saying that people are easy to find because they're most likely friends with the owners feels a little dry at best, and illogical at worst...but let's say your right and they're friends with 90% of their members of which are over a hundred. On the off chance the person your looking for isn't in that long list that took you twenty minutes to an hour to scroll through depending on how much time you have, or that you can't recognize them based on their name (and that's assuming their friends are public and not private, if they are private you ALSO have to wait for one of the two owners to accept you, assuming they accept everyone...)

You see the issue here right?
I can't help but feel it's obvious.


Noctua
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Ishvala wrote:
He did shed some light and I appreciate him for that. He also did it in a nice way, which I'm thankful for. That's more than what others can say.
If you think I am being mean to you, you should consider who was fond enough of you to show this with the gesture of that secret santa gift :P
points --> it was me

You're behaving rather defensively, there's really no need for it. Yes I am forward about the subject, and I know of some terrible things that have happened around here and why there is a need for rules. My commentary on this is objective. I'm not wavering from my stance, have been here for a long time and I know what I am talking about.
If you'd like insight to further details that would be inappropriate for me to disclose, you can attempt to ask CH directly about it, which they will if they see fit to.

The private messaging system is available to you once you are tenured.
This is a forum and posting for a while, until we really know you and you gain tenureship, isn't that big of a deal. It will fly by before you know it.

Your response to me was unnecessarily snarky and disrespectful. I was giving you helpful suggestions and advice, and you came back at me rudely. Chill out.


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