2016.05.09 - Getting to know my nephilim/human ancestor

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Alys-RaccoonReadings
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2016.05.09 - Getting to know my nephilim/human ancestor

Postby Alys-RaccoonReadings » Mon Jun 12, 2017 5:00 pm

Day 1 of Bonding

I got the impression that she was very eager to spend time with me. She was in a hurry to do so.

I thought the word "impatient." I received the word "efficient."

I thought about where to meet her. As soon as I wondered the question, she was there in a richly appointed room not unlike what you'd think of when you think of harem quarters. I remarked, "Nice room." She replied, "Honey, everyone's got a palace." From this I was to understand that every home is a palace if you come at it the right way. We can each take pride in our homes and make them our own palaces.

This was interesting as I had just finished making a Lakshmi idol the day before for my prosperity altar. Lakshmi visits a clean home.

I had the sense that here was a woman who liked fine things, she liked to be in charge of things, and she liked to be successful. She wanted to teach me to be successful--to get promoted at my job, to manage my money well, to grow my buesiness and other income streams. She is jealous of our time and very insistent and serious about teaching me these things.

Day 2 of Bonding

I decided to use the cards to continue getting to know her. I thought about the first question I'd asked my high elf ancestor (the spirit with whom I had last bonded) with the cards. I had first asked him "Where did you live?" And he had answered with the overall arc of his life on this earth and its struggle before describing geographical location in any way. I decided to do a little research to see if I could find clues as to where this ancestor had lived before asking that question with the cards.

I googled around a bit, taking her name as my starting point. It was a long-ish process with a lot of research. Eventually, I narrowed geographic origin down to India and the language she had spoken in life as Marathi. I asked if I was right about this information, and she said yes.

So that is a super fun starting point for finding out some of the more mundane details of her life to sift through and talk about. I find it very interesting that she is from India and is tying in so tightly with my Lakshmi work--a clean house, prosperity.

With that work on location done, I decided to ask her with the cards, "What was the arc of your life?" The response was impressive.
Image

1. Celestial assistance: She had contact and a meaningfully familial relationship with the angelic and nephilim side of her bloodline. These were her main family growing up. I get lots of imagery here, and not much about her human-only side of things.

2. Destiny, reversed: She struggled with her path. She resisted doing what it was thought she "should" do. She was not particularly into being a mother when she became one. She resisted a lot of the big life-y things that came her way.

3. Reflective truth: When she accepted herself and lived her own truth, she found her path and her peace. She owned who she was and what she wanted, and in that way came into her own.

Day 9 of bonding

I still had the spread from Day 2 out, as it just kept calling to me like there was more left to do with it.Image

So I pulled out the unicorn tarot cards and asked, "What do you want me to learn from the arc of your life?" Five of pentacles. I don't have what I want and I suffer, but if I seek support I will get what I need.
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In thinking of sources of support in my life, I thought of my friend Bird. And then I had an urge to meditate in child's pose. So I did. And an image of my ancestor came to me. And I thought, her hair is very like Bird's. And then I saw both their images laid on top of each other, as thouh I were to notice that the similarities meant they were one. I filed that away. Then I imaged myself in the same space, speaking to my ancestor, and she made me a child looking up to her. So then I had two questions.

I asked the unicorn tarot deck, "Is ancestor one of Bird's past lives?" The answer was yes. So then I pulled out my past lives oracle deck. I asked whether this ancestor and Bird had been my mother in that life.

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The Leaving card wasn't terribly clear to me. What I did get from it was the sense that we did have a journey together in that life, and it didn't feel close or connected. So, as is my way, I drew cards until I made sense of it.
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Welp. The Asia card confirms we were together in that life geographically and that I was right in thinking the spirit was from India. This was where I started to get a stronger sense of confirmation on the mother-daughter past life relationship as well. But I still felt I should keep drawing cards. So I drew the food and hunger card, which told me no matter how I may seek the answer to a question, there will always be another question to ask. If I focus on asking questions and finding answers, I will forever hunger for another answer to another question.

Feeling a vague urge to keep pulling cards, I pulled another. The next card was the imprisonment/enslavement card. It told me that Bird and I were stuck in a kharmic pattern that we kept repeating. This patern of questions and pain and trying to fix things. Traveling and leaving from one question and answer to another.

I asked the cards how to break that pattern, and drew the forgiveness card and saw an image of our respective mothers in this life. We must learn to forgive those who disappoint us most deeply. We must remember that each person put into our lives is a person and not a construct. They will fail, they will disappoint, and we must both learn to focus on the humanity of the people who let us down rather than traveling from disappointment to disappointment, or traveling from theory to theory about how to fix a specific failure or relationship. The message is to focus on loving and forgiving all those in each life we give rather than focusing on the minutiae of specific behaviors and problems that need solving.

Here's what I ended up with at the end of this session:Image

I called Bird to tell her all about this, and this rang incredibly true for her too. As I had been dealing with disappointment in my mother in small ways in the past few weeks, she had spent the weekend in anxiety learned from hers. She had been journaling earlier that day about how her mother was the prisoner of a context rather than someone who chose to do damaging things to her children. These and other synchronicities confirmed the reading for us.

I thanked my ancestor for her wisdom, love, and guidance. I'm not sure what I came into our time together today expecting, but this blew it out of the water.



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