Breakthrough

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Doomguy
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Breakthrough

Post by Doomguy »

So....Many of you <<removed by Moderator>>understand the sheer insanity of what I have been going through. Self made obstacle after self made obstacle, consistently discarding and reevaluating given information, and not really making any progress spiritually. I am thankful that I have finally, FINALLY, found the answers that I was looking for....and Im surprised by how those answers came to be.

It seems that the root cause of my issues was clinical depression.....caused by a lack of vitamin D and nihilistic world view. Im currently on medication, antidepressents and a vitamin D supplement. Somehow, Im starting to be more clear, except I feel kinda overflowing with energy and that makes me a bit on edge. (DO NOT USE SUBSTANCES JUST FOR SPIRITUAL GAIN, GO TO YOUR DOCTOR AND FIGURE STUFF OUT FIRST. YOU COULD HARM YOURSELF IF DONE INCORRECTLY...HELL EVEN IF DONE CORRECTLY.)

I found out what I wanted to in a dream through a very loud vocalization. Loud enough and surprising enough that it awoke me from my slumber. The very excited inhale from my companion at least tells me that I processed the information correctly, and I am thankful I have that information now.....even though in previous dreams where she made her form known to me I subconciouslly discarded as irrelevant due to information previously given to me by others. This isnt a fault on others since almost all of the information was factual, and that what they saw was an aspect of her, or what she wanted them to see, but a fault on my own for not trusting her enough with the little information I had to go off of. I was running blind and thats part of what caused me the sheer amount of confusion.

Now....I really don't have any excuses but to accept that which she has given me. Thank you to those that supported me throughout this arduous task, and apologies to those whom my flippancy has caused grief.


"They are rage, brutal, without mercy.
But you. You will be worse.
Rip and tear, until it is done."

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Lewk
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by Lewk »

Hi.

It's very good to hear that things are going well for you and that medical help has proved successful. :)


Don’t be scared. This island is full of noises, strange sounds and sweet melodies that make you feel good and don’t hurt anyone. Sometimes I hear a thousand twanging instruments hum at my ears, and sometimes voices that send me back to sleep even if I had just woken up—and then I dreamed of clouds opening up and dropping such riches on me that when I woke up, I cried because I wanted to dream again. Caliban, The Tempest, Shakespeare
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Doomguy
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by Doomguy »

Yeah. It really is good.

The root of my issue has always been a problem with self acceptance, and that is what lead me down this spiral of delirium. This lack of self acceptance is slowly being rectified, though in rectifying it I have to let go of a lot of things I only half took as true without really peering into the issues myself. Those feelings of doubt within me were probably not just there because of me being untrusting of others, but because I was being pulled away from what I was really after in the first place, which was causing me spiritual harm as well as the mental instability.

Its a shame though, that in order for us to grow we sometimes have to let go of something, though it will probably help make me a better practitioner in the long run.

I still have a long way to go, but I at least need to start strong and keep going on. No one will be able to help me on this journey but myself, not because I am a foolhardy individual, but rather that is what I should have been doing from the start instead of pursuing the shallow interest of a dragon as a partner. Though I at least have a few dragons in my keep, and they are incredible companions even though I've been in a rut for the past six years.


"They are rage, brutal, without mercy.
But you. You will be worse.
Rip and tear, until it is done."

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Muse
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by Muse »

Glad to see you two have finally gotten to officially know each other in that sense. May your journey be a prosperous one.



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chemtrailchild
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by chemtrailchild »

has the medication, aside from the vitamin d, helped with your energy levels at al??


"Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure." —Albert Bandura
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Spirits in My Keep:
Lalina, Sandman, 2 Nympho's (1 male and 1 female), Silver Dragon, Amphisbaena, Sin Eater, Gorgon, Troll, Sanguine Vampire, Indra, Baba Yaga, Hellhound, Lynx, Pegasus, Unicorn, High elf, Fire Faery, Camelot Faery, Aubres Faery, Sagen Faery, Star Faery, 4 human spirits, Bronwyn Angel, Nasih Djinn, Gargoyle, Gregori Watcher, thoughtform (all from CH)

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Doomguy
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by Doomguy »

I was Vitamin D deficient, which caused me to suffer more severe than usual anxiety. It helped my mood, but not really my energy.


"They are rage, brutal, without mercy.
But you. You will be worse.
Rip and tear, until it is done."

Dragona
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Re: Breakthrough

Post by Dragona »

Off the top of my head for energy would be iron, B12 and lean protein each day.



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